Processing the Chickens

Last spring we bought a dozen little "broiler" chicks and raised them through the summer. All the while I knew we'd have to butcher them after ten weeks or so. That's because they're bred to basically just eat and grow, and after a time they can get so big they can't even walk. So if you don't "process" them they'll suffer and die anyway.

I like the idea of knowing where my meat is coming from, that it was raised humanely, organically even, and pretty much had a good life. Not that I (or my wife) pay much attention to this when we shop at the super market. But then again, I have watched "The Meatrix" videos. (http://www.themeatrix.com/ )

I can't think of any time in my little life that I've intentionally killed anything bigger than a spider or a mouse. Well, maybe a fish or two from time to time. Not that I'm against hunting or the like, I just haven't done it (yet).

But since we bought our farmhouse a few years ago, I've had my mind set upon raising chickens, among other animals. We've had layers (hens) for a couple years and they keep us in full supply of eggs.

So the birds grew up and the time came to process them. I was given the name of a guy, Ray, at Cabin View Farms who does this for you. He has a mobile trailer and will come out to your house and do it. I don't know why I didn't call him sooner, it's been a busy summer. When I finally did get around to it though, I found out he charges a minimum of $110 just to show up. Well, maybe if I had 110 chickens it'd be worth it, but not for just twelve of them.

I called around and posted on a few email lists that I subscribe to. Apparently Ray is the only guy for about 100 miles around who does this. I got a few other names 2+ hours drive, in southern New Hampshire, Mass, and Maine. But that kind of drive just seems overkill (no pun intended).

What now?

I called a neighbor, a lifelong farmer to see what he suggests. It wasn't hard to guess his advice, "Just do it yourself". He offered to come by and help. Now I had to decide what to do, and get up the nerve.

All along I had assumed I would "outsource" this process, at least this year; maybe next year I'd take on the thrill of doing it myself. But now, here I was, assessing whether I had it in me to take on this deed.

Alfred Hitchcock once said, "There is no terror in a bang, only in the anticipation of it."

Terror is a strong word. I didn't feel terror. Although the thought of beheading my chickens did (for a moment) give me flashes of Daniel Pearl (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daniel_Pearl ) the Jewish WSJ journalist who was beheaded by Islamic assholes in Pakistan in 2002. (Forgive me, but yesterday was September 11th). I don't mean to be so dramatic, but from a strategic point of view, since 9/11/2001 I have asked myself if given the circumstances, would I have the nerve to kill if I had to? This is a pretty measly test, but a test nonetheless.

Alright, I accepted Brian's offer.

This morning he called at 7am to ask if today would be OK, and what time could we get started? I told him I was flexible. He said he just wanted to get some breakfast and would be over soon.

Thus the day began.

Here is the step-by-step procedure:

SETUP

- Find a beam or something to hang the birds from. Best not inside the barn so the blood can drain etc. We ended up using a long metal pipe behind the barn, suspended about 7 feet off the ground

- Heat a pot of water, about 3 gallons, to a boil. I started this up indoors on the stove.

- Get several 5 gallon pails. One for the hot water. One for the birds when they're done. And one for the throwaway parts.

- Other items needed: twine, a sharp knife, lopper garden shears, and a blow torch (optional but recommended)

KILL AND BLEED

- Catch the chickens. Tie their feet together and hang them upside down from the beam. Hanging there they didn't squirm much nor squawk at all.

- There are many ways to kill the birds. The method Brian showed me seems quite humane and the birds didn't get very upset. With one hand grab it by the comb at the top of the head, tilt back, insert knife into the open mouth, slice behind the palette at the roof of the mouth from one side to the other, about 3/4" to 1" deep. That severs a main artery and also a main nerve.

- The blood should drain in a steady stream. If you don't cut it good enough, you might need to go in again once or twice.

- Let the bird bleed out. It doesn't move much at all, just hangs there really, and it's not that messy. But after a couple of minutes there's a very brief flurry of fluttering (about 1 or 2 seconds), an autonomous nervous spasm just before it dies.

PLUCKING

- The pail of hot water should be ready and nearby, about 2/3rds full

- Untie the dead bird from the pole, and immerse it thoroughly in the hot water for about a minute or so. The heat loosens the feathers from the skin.

- Then hang the bird up again, from just one foot

- Remove the big feathers from the wings and tail first, since they're the hardest to remove as it cools.

- Then pull out all the other feathers. Including the short pin feathers. Clean it as best you can, especially if you plan to cook it with the skin on, you dont want to gross out your family or guests with feathery food.

- Once it's picked clean, there will be some hair-like strands left. Fire up the blow torch and gently burn them off.

There are quicker more mechanized ways to pluck chickens, e.g. you can spend hundreds of dollars on spinning bins with little rubber "fingers". And if you had hundreds of birds to process it'd make sense. But for this few, it really wasn't that much work to do it by hand.

GUTTING

I had a work table setup outdoors, a water hose, and a sharp hunting knife.

- Lay the bird on its back. At the tail end, make an incision above the anus and slice along the belly several inches. Then from the same starting point, cut a "Y" shape down on either side of the anus, without cutting through the intestines. That should create a hole into the body cavity big enough to insert your hand, so be sure to cut deep enough, past the fatty tissue.

- At the neck, slice the skin from the top of the ribs up along the neck, find the crop (a roundish organ containing recently eaten grain), and separate it from the skin tissue. It needs to be free enough so you can pull it through the body cavity along with the other plumbing.

- Reach in the bottom and first, pull out the liver, gizzard, and heart. You can save these for dinner. (I gave mine to Brian). On the liver, cut off the green gallbladder, you dont want to taste that (if it breaks, throw the whole liver out). For the gizzard, slice along the edge about 1/2" deep, gently pull it apart and separate the inner sack, remove and discard.

- Then pull the intestines out of there. I discovered that they're pretty hardy, can handle fairly strong pulling without tearing. As you pull, the crop should come through too; if not remove it through the top (neck side). Also be sure to remove the windpipe. If it was a rooster, you might also find a couple of pit shaped testicles. Discard the innards.

- With the garden loppers, cut off the head, wherever you want but probably as close to the body as you can. Discard.

- As for the feet, bend them back at the "knee" joint and slice between the cartilage with a sharp knife (just like you would any chicken bones). Discard.

- Rinse with the hose.

That's it.

CLEAN UP

When done, rinse the area with a hose, etc. I decided to bury the guts and stuff so my dog won't go after it.

DINNER

In the kitchen I put the chickens into ziploc baggies. Some whole, for broilers, some I quartered into breasts and thighs, and some I cut into smaller parts. Then put the bags in the fridge and freezer.

A few hours later, I put one whole chicken in a broiler pan, stuffed it with sliced vegetables (from my garden) including a couple apples from my apple tree, baked it for about 2 hours and served it for dinner. Can't get fresher than that!

It tasted great! The meat was a bit tougher than Purdue's, and more gamey than store-bought, almost like turkey but not quite.

HOW'D IT FEEL?

I surprised myself that I did not feel squeamish or remorseful at any point. It was all very matter of fact, and, actually, felt very natural. I know it's only relatively recently (50 years of so) that so many of us have become so far removed from our food source, but this wasn't something I grew up with either. I now feel more connected with humanity and history.

Still, this was just a dim-eyed dumb chicken, arguably a soul-less animal. Not a goat, lamb or cow; nor a deer, moose or bear (and certainly not a pet or companion). So we may need to leave my aspiration to connect with Biblical sacrifices and such to some future circumstances.

Finally, in hindsight, I cannot say this experience has given me any insight into my ability to perform in a battlefield or on a hijacked airplane. But at least I now know I can feed my family without going to the grocery store.